I heard we made out
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
