Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
