Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
