you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
