i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
