where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
