I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
