The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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