Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
is wine microwaveable?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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