the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Even the bartender felt bad for me
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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