why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she peed on how many people?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
