im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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