i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
