if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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