I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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