Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
