My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
