**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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