can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
