So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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