NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
