This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize