yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
