Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
