We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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