Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
