Sry I called you an 8
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
