Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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