would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
