No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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