I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
