She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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