All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
