...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
