Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
