i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
