I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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