put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
