That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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