I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
