I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
