Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
