Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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