I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
