I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Blood and glitter go together right?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
