I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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