you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
why do cheetos always look like penises
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
