hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
