Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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