i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
