Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize