People in love make me want to vomit
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
