...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
