He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I'm really busy with my period
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