SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
